when you like someone more than they like you
"so how long have you been on tumblr"
*has war flashbacks to the introduction of WHAT IS AIR*
i have no interest in small talk tell me about ur childhood and what ur parents are like and how many siblings u have and if u are afraid of death or if u believe in an afterlife and what ur favorite movie is and if u like romantic comedies or horror movies or action movies and what kind of music u like and why and tell me the bands or artists u loved in middle school but are too ashamed to admit to anyone else
do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded
does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack
am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding
these are our struggles
Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
The struggles of a man
thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina
you need an award right now
Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you can’t stop so it’s like eye masturbation
Client: I need this ASAP. I know you said you don’t work on the weekends but this is really urgent.
Me: Alright then. I am going to send you an invoice for the extra hours.
Client: What? You said you didn’t work at the weekend! I don’t want to pay for stuff you do in your free time.
I love when that first kid in the class that screams “OH MY GOD ITS SNOWING” and the whole class turns and looks out the window and freaks out like they’ve never seen snow
stop being rude and start being nude
i am so threatened by pretty girls they are terrifying
how did i even live with the reblog button at the top of the post